Me: These dog treats smell really bad.
George: Yeah. I forgot to tell you that I was on the phone the other day, got confused, and put one in my mouth.
George: Uh, it wasn't in there long enough to get a taste?
This reminds me of my second favorite moment from when I lived alone. I was on hold with Verizon for about, mmm, 400 years? I was so bored I just sort of absent-mindedly put a GINORMOUS handful of peanuts in my mouth at the exact moment the rep finally answered. Panicked about 1) choking to death due to trying to chew too fast and 2) losing the rep, I just sort of slow motion dribbled the 97 peanuts out of my mouth onto the floor. Then I laughed so hard I almost lost the rep anyway. SCORE.
That brings me to my number one living alone moment. I was having one of those nights where you're feeling all independent and proud of yourself and so I decided to make some popcorn on the stove because WHO NEEDS MICROWAVES? AMIRITE? All my ladies who independent throw your hands up at me! Or something. So my corn is a poppin' and I went to put the bag of kernels back in the pantry when they just starting pouring out of the package and onto my super sweet linoleum floor. OBVIOUSLY, I pulled a sort of Fred Flintstone-type move where I slipped on top of them, proceeded to sort of run in place for a second, and then launched up in the air and landed directly on my back. So good.