Donna Martin: Remember how I told you that Duke checked out Beverly Hills 90210 season three from the library a week or so ago? Well, I’m sorry, but good gal Donna got in a heap of trouble for having two glasses of champagne (and, perplexingly, becoming about as drunk as a 102 lb frat boy who did keg stands for 19 hours straight) before prom. How can I be expected to focus on anything else? Right now, my boyfriend Brandon Walsh is coordinating a march on her behalf that he is, for better or worse, likening to the ant-Vietnam War protests of the ‘60s and ‘70s. Guys, what’s gonna happen? (Spoiler alert: Donna Martin Graduates.)
Snacks: George’s sister, Victoria, came for a visit and brought me three—that’s right people, one, two, THREE—different types of gummy candies. (Sorry. She’s my sister in law, you can’t have her.) Obviously it has become imperative that I walk over to the counter, carefully select two pieces, wander back to the couch, bundle up with my blanket, chew very deliberately, ponder (about the blog, but mostly Donna Martin), stare, and then walk back to the counter for two more pieces. Focused candy eating is a very, very important activity. (Ooh! Now G just opened a box Cheezits!)
People.com: I’m so out of the loop I don’t know who half the celebs we’re all gossiping about ARE. Seriously, what is a Channing Tatum? How about a Chris Hemsworth? Are they the same? I don’t even know…but I’ve found it critically important today to monitor the gossip sitch over at people.com. (For real, whatever happened to people I knew. Like Winona Ryder. Or, I dunno, Greta Garbo.) Hang on, I’d say more, but there’s a breaking news story involving “ScarJo’s” Post Baby Bod.
All that to say, sorry that I failed you today. I just had some really important stuff going on.