I bought my little BFF either right before or right after college. Memory fades, but tube TVs last forever, right? Only maybe not. Here’s the horrifying news I’ve got for you today: The tube TV is flipping out.
Literally. All of a sudden when I’m watching Really Important PBS Documentaries (aka Castle – He’s a writer and a detective. Get on board, people!) the picture starts flipping and flashing, sort of like it would do in a 1950s horror movie. Only it’s a 2015 horror movie and I’m living it.
Guys! I love this little 21-inch sucker and will be super teary-eyed when it has to go to the big garbage heap in the sky. Allow me to elaborate.
First, the tube TV saves me money. How? I’m glad you asked. If I’d bought a flat screen when they first came out, I would’ve paid what, like 3 trillion dollars? Now those bad boys are down to what, like $25.99? Whatever, my point is, I kinda missed the bandwagon so when this TV DOES go, I’ll probably pay a reasonable price for a decent new one. (Downside? I wait too long and hit the price peak of a new type of TV…ooh! Like a hologram TV! Man am I gonna pay a premium for that.)
Second, the tube TV wards off bad guys. Why? If I leave the blinds or screen door open, it’s basically shooting off a signal that says “Hey, the people who live here are cheap, and their most fancy material possession is this tube TV…which even Goodwill refuses to take.” Tada! This thing is better than an ADT security system! (Downside? Potential thieves think no one could possibly be so dumb and cheap to have a TV this old and decrepit set and thus assume it must be hiding something valuable inside…oooh! Like a treasure map!)
Finally, the tube TV has become something of a statement. To clarify it's not a fashion or decor statement: It's not retro enough to fit in with the quasi '60s vibe I'm attempting to give off with my couch and coffee table and the like. (If ONLY it had wood grain sides. Like the mini van my parents made me drive when I lived at home. #coolkid ). It's more of statement like....oooh! Like when George and I both refuse to ever watch Titanic. It has no bearing on anything to do with real life, but it kinda drives people bananas, and for that it is an endless source of joy.
So darling tube TV, if you're reading this--and I know that you are--please hang in there a little bit longer. Life just won't be the same with out your flippy floppy little magic. Forlorn!