A: Well, I've always considered my "spirit animal" to be the common wood duck, but I feel I may have similarities to certain breeds of equine, particularly the domesticated donkey.
Q: Anyway, your obsession with bringing home super low grocery store receipts is relatively new. What happened?
A: Do you want the real answer or something that will sell papers? The real answer is working for a food bank, I've always felt it's important to stay price conscious around the food products we give away. Working within the budget of the families we serve gives me a real appreciation of what they go through. Also, I find that saving money on groceries will help me build credit for when I ask you if we can buy one of those totally practical ATVs.
Q: Coupons? Sales? Pre-Planning? How do you work your grocery store magic?
A: All of the above-- with a little technique I call "stackin.' " Stackin' involves hording the best coupons until my local store has a good sale on the item I want. Then I unleash a fury of cupes that leaves Miss Vicki (my favorite cashier/cheerleader) in a tizzy. It also takes a bit of timing. For instance, I know my store will usually have both Kellogg's and General Mill's cereal on sale once every three weeks. I may buy a few extra boxes to last me through the weeks when there are no good sales.
Q: What’s the best deal you ever scored/cheapest receipt you ever brought home?
A: When I paid $28 for $76 worth of groceries. You read that right. You ain't never met a supersaver like me. There are certain items I will nearly never pay for, and if I do, it's no more than a quarter: soup, macaroni & cheese, pasta, mustard, coffee, and popsicles. Fortunately, I only have brand loyalty with a select few products, so I can mix it up. This quality also illustrates the character differences between me and the horse. The horse is very loyal. The duck is loyal to no man.
Q: Why am I not allowed to come with you to the grocery store?
A: Aside from the abundant flirtations of spendthrift, octogenarian women who know "A man with deals is a man to steal"...
Q: Shut up.
A: Where's my Backstreet Boys CD?